Kate Heavey – BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and Counsellor. Qualified in Individual, Couple, Marriage and Two’s Counselling. Specialties – Relationships, Alcohol Addiction, Loss / Bereavement and Single-Session Therapy. Online Zoom, Skype and Phone Therapy in the UK + Worldwide.
Counselling and psychotherapy really can change HOW YOU LIVE and help you interact with yourself, and your life, in a more beneficial way for you.
Would you like a life where you get out of bed infused and energised as opposed to feeling dread and despair?
If so, you are not alone as statistics today show that more adults then not will reach out to counselling for support. We are human and finding ways to cope with our trials and tribulations, rather than letting them dictate/overwhelm, means freedom.
We all have so much potential and I would love the opportunity for you to contact me and for us to work together to get you the life you really want.
Relationship symptoms and issues are the unpleasant feelings you experience from being IN relationship with yourself and others. You will have learnt ways to navigate your feelings along your life and you will have coping strategies that have got you this far. Yet, the reason you are here, is that these strategies are no longer working for you. A few issues/symptoms-
The reason you are seeking therapy is due to something not quite working in how you relate within and a big contributor can be how you have learnt to communicate and trust others.
Through being in relationship with others, feelings and thoughts are experienced and your mind then creates an internal dialogue; a story it tells itself. Then, depending on your life experience, comes the healthiness of your next step…….
It may not surprise you that number 1 is the healthiest way. Yet, what may surprise you is approximately 45% of humans do not do that! 45% use options 2 and 3 using learnt behaviours and defense mechanisms which result in internal distress, unhappiness, unfulfillment, stress and discontentment. What the world then sees is behaviours such as addiction (alcohol and eating disorders), trust issues, perfectionism, loss of self-esteem, lack of confidence, neediness, avoidance, unpleasant feelings (anger, resentment, anxiety, depressive mood, etc.) which all contribute to life struggles.
Yet these are all only symptoms created by an underlying cause of how you feel, and connect, with yourself. This then impacts on the quality of your life and how you feel about yourself and others.
The underlying cause is HOW you feel about yourself and the messages you give yourself, i.e. I am not worthy of more; I am bad; I deserve this; I will never be happy; I will be rejected if I am me; I am not enough; I need to be punished; life isn’t fair; I need to appease, etc. These are all learnt behaviours / adaptations used to stay in relationship at any cost to you to avoid rejection and/or abandonment. These behaviours mask pain and disconnection; they are learnt coping mechanisms. Ultimately it is these behaviours that can cause isolation, loneliness and disconnection within yourself, your relationships and with the world. The cycle is formed and then repeated, round and round and round.
Therapy is about changing the story you tell yourself, and how you interact with yourself, so you give yourself understanding, compassion and nurturing.
So, question time: –
Are you one of the 45%?
Is this pattern familiar?
Do you want to break your patterns and re-learn?
Do you want to change?
If so please contact me.
“When you carry around anger, resentment, guilt or shame, it hurts your own happiness, health and your relationship with yourself.”
Kate, Relationship Counselling Online